Self-Efficacy and the Magician

The Magician is all about making things happen. In my last post, I wrote about the Fool, who was poised to leap into the unknown. This second card in the tarot deck depicts the Magician, using the tools at his disposal to bring something new into existence. If the Fool is all about taking the first leap, the Magician is about consciously deciding what to do and then doing it.

Readiness for Change

In coaching we often talk about someone's readiness for change. Depending on where they are on that spectrum of readiness, taking action can feel anything from absolutely impossible to completely necessary and doable. We all go through periods in our lives when we feel like we want to change or do something new... just not yet. Or when one part of ourselves is full of enthusiasm to move forward, but something is holding us back. That ambivalence around change is normal, and part of moving forward means bringing it into awareness and working through whatever is holding us back.

The Magician represents the moment when that ambivalence is resolved and you are fully ready to move forward. He has managed to align all aspects of himself towards his conscious will. Notice the line he forms with his arm; he is literally aligned in his body, as well as with his mind and intention. He is the epitome of self-efficacy, believing in and acting on his own purpose with clarity and confidence.

The Magician's Tools

The Magician has the 4 tools or suits of tarot in front of him and at his disposal: the wand, the cup, the sword, and the pentacle/coin. These tools/suits correspond to the 4 elements, fire, water, air, and earth and also represent archetypal aspects of human experience. His ability to use them for his purposes signifies that he is also uniting these aspects and bringing them into alignment. Let's take a look at each one:

• Wands/fire: this is the initiatory force, the spark of an idea, the impulse to act. It is also your will, your passion, what propels you forward. This is what gives you the energy to start something new or make a change.

• Cups/water: emotions, relationships, spirituality, the ability to go deep within. In the context of starting something new or making a change, this is where you process how you feel about it. How much do you actually want this? What parts of you are resistant to this?

• Swords/air: the mind, the power of thinking. This is where we look at the stories we tell ourselves. We can use our thinking to move us forward or to hold us back. We need clarity of intention and direction before taking action.

• Pentacles/earth: material resources, the body, practical considerations. This is where we work through what we have and what we need to make our plan a reality. We can dig into the nitty gritty and figure out exactly when, where, and how we will do what we plan to do, and how we will address any obstacles that come up along the way.

My Experience of the Magician

Nine years ago, I gave birth to my daughter after a very long labor via emergency cesarean surgery. I had planned to give birth at a birthing center, but after hours of pushing with limited descent, the midwife decided it was time for a hospital transfer. After a failed vacuum extraction, her heart rate started decelerating and it was time for surgery.

When I became pregnant again 5 years later, I knew what I wanted to try to do differently, and I also knew how hard it would be. I had experienced 2 early miscarriages within those 5 years and been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition that made this a high-risk pregnancy, requiring me to inject myself with blood thinners every day. Add to that my age and previous cesarian, and this was not a straightforward pregnancy. Yet, I knew that I needed to at least try for a VBAC; some deep part of me knew that this was what my body and spirit needed for healing.

To make this happen I needed to get all of those elemental archetypes on board. I needed to learn from the Magician's skill in utilizing those 4 tools to support his will.

• I needed to harness and feed the fire: the will and tenacity to continue believing in and persist in my goal, which included changing providers multiple times, getting second and third opinions, and ensuring that I had the right team in place to fully support me and my baby, caring for our health while recognizing my agency and bodily autonomy.

  
  

• I needed to go deep into the waters of my emotional world, working through all of my complex emotions from my previous birth as well as the lost pregnancies and making peace with the possibility that things might not go as I hoped. I also relied on the support of community and ultimately found myself drinking up that support when giving birth felt nearly impossible and my own cup was empty.

  
  

• I needed to use my thinking and my mind, my capacity to research and consider what I was told by different providers. I needed to confront my own story that my body had failed me and would probably fail me again.

  
  

• And I needed to tend to my own physical body and the many logistical arrangements that needed to be made. I worked with a doula and chiropractor who recommended exercises during pregnancy and labor to encourage optimal fetal positioning and open up my pelvis. And of course, I needed my body and will to be aligned during the extremely difficult work of labor.

In the end, I was able to reach beyond my own strength and have the VBAC. I recognize that I was able to exercise a lot of privilege in utilizing my resources to get the care and support I needed; and I think there was an element of simple luck too. There were also some compromises I had to make and some unexpected complications. It was not simple or easy, and I had a lot to process afterwards. And also there was something incredibly empowering, confidence-building, and healing about doing the thing that I had decided to do, despite it feeling nearly impossible at times. The Magician symbolizes our ability to tap into the resources at our disposal in order to become increasingly aware of our own capacity and agency.

Reflection Questions

When have you felt most confident in your ability to take action towards your goal?

What was it like to go through a process of confronting ambivalence, zeroing in on your motivation, and making a change?

What was the hardest thing you have ever done? What gave you the strength to do it?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections on how the Magician speaks to you. Feel free to share a comment or reach out to explore a coaching session or tarot reading with me.